Babes & Babies: How to influence and impact Black men
In the movie that I love my wife, comedian and actor Chris Rock plays a private sexual husband and loving father who falls for a college friend of age who meets (played by Kerry Washington). They start out and revived his friendship with some romantic wishes she wakes they create a disruption in both his marriage and work.
When you get dizzy with lust and begins to lose its control over their responsibilities in the prestigious investment firm for which they work, your boss has a heart to heart with him and offers some profound advice: "You lose money chasing women … but you can not lose women chasing money. "
If only young black attention to this advice as they are growing. This approach could prevent the underdevelopment of the potential and the values that cause them to wander and look for validation in other ways.
Culturally, black boys (especially those who have above average looks or modest) to know how many brides are expected to have, how many hearts be broken, or what a lady "murderer" who will be before learning to tie his own shoes.
With the seeds planted so early distraction in their fertile minds, and predictions of future be a "heartbreaker" to make black boys achieving subconscious motives involved validation, construction, and prioritization of babies.
The validation confirms that in fact appeal to the opposite sex. The building is allowing them to rise above male competition on their age group, also allowing the momentum of the ego and feelings of self-esteem. Setting priorities is the rank of importance they give investment of time spent in the pursuit and conquest of women.
Together they form the roots of many of the problems affecting black families. I I call the syndrome of children and babies: black men who are driven by the pursuit of children and flee from the responsibility of caring for their babies at process.
For many of these young people become young men who suffer from this syndrome is difficult to change their mentality. After all, if you constantly wonder how many girlfriends you have as they grow up, creates an expectation unconscious. Coupled with the fact that many of their peers are involved in and therefore endorsing the same behavior, our black adolescents are more likely to get your player card before receiving their library cards.
Although friends and family say they "fix" down when they get older (now grown men), it takes time (and usually some drama) before they develop a sense of awareness about their lascivious ways. Not that I can not help, they often simply do not know how – especially after spending most of their lives as manly men whose self-esteem and self-esteem is linked to the validation they receive from the sexual conquest of women.
Breaking the habits and changing the way we think is a tremendous challenge for us all, but for players in the world, is exceptionally difficult. This does not happen simply because they feel that "it is time" or because they feel like they are "aging", which occurs when the conquest of babies no longer has the charm, power, validation, or that it once did. Then and only then, there can be no real change in values.
Some make the successful transition of children to men. They are the ones who never bought into the mentality of the player "is" because they were guided or focused from a early age by parents had securities clearing, or the rules of the field and his conscience made them change their ways, thus avoiding the syndrome of children and babies.
Those who cling to the mentality of using predatory women to build, feed, or keep your ego and into adulthood for the bulk Authors contributing to the demise of the socioeconomic plight of black families today.
It is a very serious problem.
What serious? SAVE AMERICA Ministries published Black Family Portrait 2007: Descent into destruction! in which statistics and documented the following:
-70% Of all black children are born out of wedlock.
-62% Of black families with children are headed by a single parent.
-85% Of black children not living in a house with their parents.
"Only 15-20% of black children born today will grow up with both parents until age 16.
-70% Of children Afro-Americans in the criminal justice system come from single parent homes. -50% Of all new cases of AIDS in the Black community that comprises only 12% of the population.
-85% Of all cases of AIDS in Atlanta are black women.
"African-Americans are 20 times more likely than whites to have gonorrhea.
"AIDS is now the leading cause of death of a black woman, 25-44.
-67% Black women with AIDS contracted HIV through heterosexual sex.
-Black men in the United States have polygamous relationships, 3 1 / 2 times higher than white or Hispanic.
"Nearly 2 million black men are currently in state prison or federal or have been in one.
"At the age of 30, only 52% of married black women compared to 81% of white women, 77% of Hispanics and Asians.
James Flynn, whose fame is due to the much discussed "Flynn Effect" in which he documents the rise of black IQs around 15 percent, published the following information concerning the disappearance of marriages black in the magazine New Scientist.
Government statistics show that at birth is 104 boys per 100 girls black. Between the ages of 25 and 45, six more women than men have died, leaving 98 men per 100 women. Of these 98 men, nine are in jail, eight are missing and 21 are employing fewer than half the time.
That leaves 60 "promising" black men – men who are alive, employed and not convicted criminals. They also believe that encouraging black men living with men outnumbering a non-black couple white with a black teammate for three. That leaves only 57 black men per 100 women in a position to be a permanent partner. Of 100 black women, 43 years versus the choice between having a child by a black man who is unlikely to go down with them or without children – assuming that (a need) to get married and (b) want children.
This is compelling information. Is it true? The remains can be seen in the fragmented black, that are families headed by single mothers says it is. Besides, just witness the number of unruly black men who continue to celebrate their masculinity through the procreation and not through the full parental involvement and active in the lives of their children, is further proof.
When black men can find meaning and purpose to his inner life are less dependent on external circumstances of an ego boost, or to fill a void. You can find pride, peace and salvation in the sanctity of marriage, and joy of parenthood if they wish to set the value to it.
Which brings me back to the movie that I love my wife.
Once Chris Rock character reveals his desire to his long lost friend, agreed to have an adventure "goodbye." He arrives at her place and continues to ponder his decision to go through with it. She opens the door to very revealing lingerie and effectively confirmed his decision to go through with it. The analysis leads to himself in the mirror with his tie on his head and remembers his daughter (who is in an earlier scene with playing affectionately). It is a moment of truth for him. He reassembled it and left without becoming a victim of the girls and infants syndrome.
About the Author
Gian Fiero is an educator, speaker and consultant. He is affiliated with San Francisco State University as an adjunct professor, and the United States Small Business Administration (SBA) as a business advisor where he conducts monthly workshops on topics such as business development, career planning, public relations, and personal growth.
